Anna:
Better than Best, better than best, best is better, better than best
Being better, being best, being the best I can be…
“If you aim for nothing, you’re sure to hit it!”
Give 100%, no give it 110%!
An A is good but an A+ is better.
Is that the best you can do? I don’t think that’s your best work.
Cream of the crop, top of the class, teacher’s pet….
Being good, being better than good, being the best….the best that you can be!
This is the only way to be chosen, to be selected, to belong to something or someone important, exclusive, elite, distinguished, set a part… set apart for only for the best!
Honour role
“Gifted and talented” programs
Sports tryouts, dance auditions, piano lessons, highschool musicals
University entrance applications, keep that GPA high, 4.0 is best but 4.2 is better
Youth group, camp counsellor, student leader opportunities – show them how perfect you are!
And make sure you look perfect while you act perfect – perky, cute, sporty… not too drab but not too sexy. Don’t cause those good Christian boys to stumble now. But show a little leg...
Hope Chests, purity rings, sign this chastity contract promising you will not engage in premarital sex, sign the Christian University contract promising you will pretty much not do anything including drinking alcohol on or off campus, dance on campus and of course no sex before marriage… “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” now there’s a book popular with the good girls suggesting no dating or even kissing before marriage…
Be the good Christian girl, suppress your urges, suppress your anger at having to suppress your urges… work harder, think of someone other than yourself! Stop navel gazing. Blessed to be a blessing! You have so much, how dare you question this cardboard, cookie cutter existence you have been sold. Sponsor a Child! Volunteer at the homeless shelter. Don’t be so self focused, serve others. WWJD? (What would Jesus do?)
Don’t be yourself! Be good, be better than good, be the best you can be. Be better than best. Best is better and better is best.
I slowly waste away internally. While I’m still looking “my best” on the surface, all my energy has been consumed by the enormous weight of propping up the approved “good girl” facade. I no longer have the strength to bear its weight and my emaciated soul collapses underneath the brutish armour I was led to believe was the path to safety/there to protect me.
Crones' Chronicles 
Thank you for this post Anna. I can relate to the pressures and rigid expectations put on women of our generation. I often felt like I was a puppet wearing “a straight jacket.” It is good to stand apart and question this conditioning, this way of life, this bill of goods that we were sold. I was not very happy in my younger years, burdened by self improvement and perfectionism. . Our souls desire to be free. Part of telling our stories is surely the way to a more authentic and joyful life. Where was my true Self buried underneath all that striving and effort? Who am I really? Perhaps this is the exciting inquiry of the Crone years.
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