27. The Queen of Broken Hearts

OK Warrior. Time to put your intentions to the test. Where is that balance and strength? 

3 Little Me’s

This picture depicts three Little Me’s acting out my standard reactions to my mother’s insatiable needs. 

1. Run Away(top left) – Avoidance is a no-brainer. If you are not around, you don’t have to deal with the emotions. Easy, but not satisfying in the long-run, as it leads to emotional atrophy, among other deadly traps.
2.  “I’m goin’ in”(bottom left) – Rescue is my favourite. Everyone loves a hero. Having spent much of my adolescence as care-giver to my mother and my younger siblings, this came naturally to me. However, no matter how much I did, it was never enough.  

Learning about co-dependency in families was a real eye-opener for me. My favourite book on the subject remains, Family Ties that Bind by Ronald Richardson. I learned about family roles and I learned about “over-functioning” – that’s the rescuer.  There’s a very popular Coldplay song called Fix You. It makes me cringe whenever I hear the last line of the chorus- “I will try to fix you.” Nooooooo… it’s a trap! 

3. I’m Here But I’m resisting– This was me when I was present in body only. My mind and heart were still resisting everything that was happening- very exhausting!

Warrior Me

The big yellow form is Warrior me. Standing strong and present. Allowing the experience to flow through me without the damage that is caused by resistance. 

This takes courage and vulnerability… and practice! 

Try…fall down…begin again.