19. Feel the Feelings

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is nothing at all. Refrain. 

“Stay calm, do nothing, feeling the feelings, see what happens.” (Adapted quote from Camille’s dad)

When unpleasant feelings come our way, we are driven to move away from those feelings by whatever means necessary. We are programmed that way; to our primitive brains it makes perfect sense. 

Aggression. Cravings. Agitation. Boredom. Fear. Loneliness. Jealousy. Pain.

They all leave us with the sense that there is a gaping hole inside – a gap that we try to fill with whatever is fastest and easiest.

Activity. Food. Sex. Distraction. Entertainment. Reading. Work. Drugs. 

We all have our favourite ways of filling the gap so that we don’t have to feel those feelings. Unfortunately, these feelings do not go away – they just bury deeper into our psyches. They feed our pain body.

The good news is that these feelings have the potential to be our greatest teachers. They can be conduits for emotional growth and a bridge to freedom from suffering.

The trick lies in not filling the gap. When you feel those feelings – 

REFRAIN! Let the gap be there.

Hang out with those feelings…

… feel them…

…listen to them…

…accept them without feeding them…

…examine them…

…learn from them…

…know that they will pass like the weather.