When I look at this sketch now, 10 years or so later, I can still feel the tension of my resistance to what was happening in my life. My mind was full to overflowing with objections to reality. In the picture I seem to have lost my head altogether. I remember being exhausted by my pushing back so hard against life. Did it help? Not at all. It definitely added to my suffering, and probably the suffering of some of the people around me too.